The GREAT one
I remember getting a call from Katy’s cell phone on July 27, 2003, although it wasn’t from Katy, but rather her brother Frank. But lets start from the beginning.
I met Katy through our first Fitzgerald 3rd floor meeting at the start of my first year at CMSU. She was my neighbor; all we really shared at that time was the wall, but soon that changed. We slowed started talking more often, hanging out, and doing stuff together. This one time I saw that she had gotten two-dozen roses in an amazing glass vase, delivered nonetheless. I commented on them and she quickly replied, they are from a friend. WOW, I thought, I wished I had friends that sent me things like that, and the flowers weren’t cheap either. I brushed it off as a touchy subject. One day Katy came over and told me, grab a t-shirt, underwear, your toothbrush and your keys, we are going for a road trip. And at that point, I was scared of her in some little puppy being yelled at way. So I did what she told me to do. About half way to our destination, she looked at me and said… “so, I hear you think I am a lesbian?”
I was caught off guard, causing me to nearly run off the road. I was sweating and turning bright red, but I recovered and said… “well, whatever you are, you seem pretty awesome to me, and I could care less who you love, that’s your business.” (what a political response, eh?)
We had our conversation and she told me if I ever wanted to come out of the closet that she would help me in any way possible. Katy ended up being the first person I admitted being gay too, besides myself.
We had great times. Sat in her room watching gay weddings on Bravo, eating pizza, ordering from pizza hut because of the hot guy that delivered. Chinese food from the good place. Walking to class with her, after waking her up 10 minutes before class even with our 15 minute walks to class.
After she died, I haven’t really talked about this with anyone, a bit with Sam that’s all, but I got so depressed that I stopped eating and coming out of my room for weeks at a time. I spent hours a day in therapy. I had lost the only friend that made coming out easy. They say your friends are the easiest to come out to, and they are right, Katy just made it that much more easy for me, made me feel comfortable with myself. And now she was gone. I was completely lost. I knew what her mom was going through only about a billion times worse.
They say that time heals all wounds, and they are right. Today I know I am stronger because of Katy, I know that I am the person I want to be because of her. I rarely talk about her, because I really do miss her a lot. It is still a sore subject with me.
Katy’s mom has nearly adopted me as their “gay” child. I spent lots of time with her mom on the net exchanging emails, IM conversations, and I even visit her house time to time to have dinner and talk about Katy. Her mom is the greatest. I know when we are young teenagers we say that are parents are not cool, well I know for a fact that Katy said that she did have the coolest mom in the world.
So here’s to you Katy, I’m coming to the other side in about 80 years, make sure to wait up for me, okay?
Catherine Rose Henry (June 1984- July 2003)
Thinking about you...
Yes to whomever left me a comment... I have been thinking of Katy all day today... and I promise when i have more time that i will do a special and well deserved entry to her. Lets all just be strong and help the Henry family get through this terrible incident.
Typical Political Response
I have been emailing this county council man about his upcoming election for judge in my region and been asking him some questions on issues and were he stands on them.
I asked such questions as, How do you feel about the Patroit Act, gay marriage (he was the first member in the county board to propose a county ban on gay marriage), hate crime legislation, his politcal background and such easy straight forward questions. Nothing that would ruin his career as a lawyer if people found out certainly.
Sam said that political backgrounds wouldnt really matter if he was elected district judge because he can't reverse laws, this is true but if faced with a case about say abortion, i believe some thoughts that he has on the subject could possibly come into play. Or that if he thinks poorly on abortion, then he possibly could not have strong views towards women's rights.
This is a response i got from him today regurding my questions on his stance on issues, " I will just drop you some of my lit. in the mail. Thanks for your concern."
Typical.
Maybe he will show up at my house and I can personally demean the guy over gay rights, hate crimes, women's rights, and other critical issues. Lets just say he is wasting his time and money by sending me his "... lit...." But i guess if he spends time on me, that means he is spending less time on others. Right?
Typical Political Response
I have been emailing this county council man about his upcoming election for judge in my region and been asking him some questions on issues and were he stands on them.
I asked such questions as, How do you feel about the Patroit Act, gay marriage (he was the first member in the county board to propose a county ban on gay marriage), hate crime legislation, his politcal background and such easy straight forward questions. Nothing that would ruin his career as a lawyer if people found out certainly.
Sam said that political backgrounds wouldnt really matter if he was elected district judge because he can't reverse laws, this is true but if faced with a case about say abortion, i believe some thoughts that he has on the subject could possibly come into play. Or that if he thinks poorly on abortion, then he possibly could not have strong views towards women's rights.
This is a response i got from him today regurding my questions on his stance on issues, " I will just drop you some of my lit. in the mail. Thanks for your concern."
Typical.
Maybe he will show up at my house and I can personally demean the guy over gay rights, hate crimes, women's rights, and other critical issues. Lets just say he is wasting his time and money by sending me his "... lit...." But i guess if he spends time on me, that means he is spending less time on others. Right?
I have found out who my county council elected official is today. He is the man who sponsored the gay marriage ban in the county. NICE huh? I've been emailing him on his positions on many topics and the gay one hasnt come up yet, but i am sure it will soon. I would love to share the stuff that I have been sending and his responses except this message...
This electronic mail message contains information that(a)is or may be LEGALLY PRIVILEGED, CONFIDENTIAL, PROPRIETARY IN NATURE, OR OTHERWISE PROTECTED BY LAW FROM DISCLOSURE, and(b)is intended only for the use of the Addressee(s)named herein. If you are not the intended recipient, an addressee, or the person responsible for delivering this to an addressee, you are hereby notified that reading, using, copying, or distributing any part of this message is strictly prohibited. If you have received this electronic mail message in error, please contact us immediately and take the steps necessary to delete the message completely from your computer system. Thank you.
Nice way for the county to cover its own ass, don't you think? I could possibly take some stuff out of context and use other creative forms of telling you what his responses are... some of them are quite interesting.
Table for UH UH.... one please.
My friend, Erin, has this new boy. She is head over heels for this guy apparently. She talks to him often and he is even involving her in his decisions. This is big for her, she hasn’t had a steady decent boyfriend in years and now her luck is finally turning around. So it got me thinking, is this world made for couples?
All my female friends either are married (still upset at Jessica for not having a real wedding, but I am sure I will get over it), engaged (Yay, go Tera), or have boyfriends (You go Amanda and Erin). And then there is me. I haven’t had a relationship in over a year, much less sex. Everywhere you turn advertisements are geared towards buying that special something for your loved one. Taking a vacation to an exotic getaway with your spouse. Have dinner for two at your favourite restaurant. So why is the power of two better than the power of one?
It actually comes down to fear. Advertisements, dating, romance all play on your fears. Bingo thought he was missing something with his life so he went out and had random sex. And yet he isn’t one bit closer to finding himself, he says he is still looking to discover himself after his brush with an intimate situation. But with that intimate situation you can feel very comfortable and at ease. Advertisers see the power of one person’s credit card but tap that mental part of their brain which connects material possessions for their mate, some sort of prehistoric way of providing and attracting the prize, the female.
I have become obsessed with this show on BBC America, Coupling. It’s the British version, the American one flopped. It’s about how a group of friends basically support each other through complex dating situations and conversations in order to feel as if they are wanted. It deals with issues of popular culture and the ordinary situations that 20 somethings find themselves in daily if they are single. (In other words, it’s Friends with a British flare).
Sports cars are designed for two. You sit in the car at the dealer hoping to look over and see your ideal mate sitting in the seat saying, lets go drive far and fast. But in reality it seems more plausible that your dog or a suitcase or your golf clubs are in the seat next to you. Economy classes on airlines usually have 3 seats or more per row. Sticking you with the loving couple that are on their way to scenic Detroit for their honeymoon while you get to listen to their kissing. If you are lucky enough to get to first class you just have to deal with the extremely old dude who drools on your armrest and shoulder. Because first class yet again is made for TWO.
This world is undoubtedly made for two. It’s a fact and we just have to face it.
My guest spot...
I am not the first person to be political. In fact I really cant stand most politicans and the fact that they are stupid. But this interesting race and the whole grand skem of things in Missouri is getting really intense and well worth the midnight newspaper reads and online chat sessions. So check out my guest apperance on the topic of politics for Missouri and the nation at... http://queeries.org or you can click the button to the right...
grab your riot gear
the president is coming to a town near me... the world is going to end. Channey is speaking at Columbia the day before too. my god i didnt think missouri was this popular. The world is ending on tuesday
I would love to go down there with my pre made signs... "go back to texas" or "4 more wars!" or "god says i can burn my grandma too!" but i have to work. This is the time i wish i could just call in sick.
I wouldnt get close due to his policy on if he can see demonstrators then they are too close so put them in a corner. I would instead pick the state's busiest highway and stand on the side of it or the exit ramps with signs instead. Let the cops come and tell me to leave becasue i would and just go to a different location.
oh well plenty of other times to protest, Missouri is a key state and the bush will be back many times. And since most professors at unis are democrats because smart people are democratic they support a day off of protesting. Yay for skipping school to protest!
A very interesting and cool survey about music... do try it
Favorite
Band (modern): 3EB… aka Third Eye Blind
Band (all-time): Matchbox 20
Song: Deep Inside You (3EB)
Album: BLUE
Male vocalist: Rob Thomas
Female vocalist: Celion Dion (shut up!)
Guitarist: don’t know really… rob Thomas does a bit of it.
Music video: I love the “THIS LOVE” music video via the HOTTIES, MAROON 5
Cover art: Who looks at cover art… its all about the Downloads baby!
Lyrics: I agree with Tera, Coldplay is so sad.
-- Don't forget the songs that made you...
Cry: Matchbox 20’s Bright Lights
Saved your life: argh… uh?
Dance merrily: Heather Prouds’ songs
Sing at the top of your lungs: Fuel’s BAD DAY
Suicidal: uh? If a song makes me want to kill myself.. its better off in the trash can
Your heart stop: Dido’s Here Without You
Your heart soar: Dido’s Here Without You… I am multi talented
Want to hurl your stereo (or someone else's) out the window and damn the consequences: Vanilla Ice
-- First...
Concert: Matchbox 20 with my high school teacher and friends… it was uh interesting…
Album/CD ever purchased: “NOW 6” yes… the NOW people loved me… NOW 6 through 13… argh…
Time you ever heard your favorite band/song: I remember having Matchbox 20 on a mini cd player in my locker and listening during passing time and classes…
-- What do you think of...
Cheesy pop: How cheesy? Does it smell of swiss output or is it techno Swedish? depends
Electronic-style music: I can get along with it.
Rap/Hip-hop: I like some, but very rarely.
Rock: I love it. Oh baby 105.7 the POINT!
Indie: does this come from India? Jk… its o k… I guess… not a huge fan.
Country: only pop country… miss twain you can rock my pop world anyday
Europop!: argh… they can keep that shit in Europe and we will gladly still pay for the import fees
Goth: they have goth music?
Latin: is ricky martin and Enrique latin or American pop?
Swing: oh yeah baby it makes me feel all 1950’s inside… I think its president bush’s national anthem.
Musicals: ohhhh Moulin Rouge… I heart it!
50?s/60?s: so.. like old stuff… ? its ok… franklin is cool, was she in the 50’s?
70s: that’s the stuff my ‘rents listen too…
80?s: I want more more more. Our uni is changing its format to all 80’s this semester too! YAY
-- This band is perfect for...
Rainy days: yeah… coldplay
Sunny days: … life is a highway…
Morning: VH1’s morning videos… always comes on the tube in my room at 835am… ;)
Driving long distances: Matchbox 20… they do the bestest songs… plus I can day dream about Rob Thomas… sigh…
When you're having "one of those days": counting crows…
Spring: offspring… because it has spring in the name ;)
Summer: uh… random on windows media player…
Fall: pete yorn
Staring off into space: dido… she has lots to say about love… and love is in all new spaces
-- Miscellaneous...
The person/people who you are indebted forever to for shaping your current musical tastes and habits: Sam (American views) Scottie (Aussie views).
Last CD purchased: the Love Actually soundtrack.
How many CDs do you have?: about 20 real ones… many many more burned copies
Band/song that you are almost too ashamed to admit you like: Backstreet boys… argh I never gonna live that one down
Describe your music buying habits: buying music is bad unless I like all the songs on the cd… that’s why the smart people of the world invented such companies as Kaaza and Napster (free version)
-- And finally...
If you could describe your love for music in one word, what word would that be? Pure
Do you take Visa here?
Today I went with my parent to help clean up the new house and land a bit. And I even took baby kody bear. he has finally got over the pissing episode. Mum, Dad, and I cleaned up and cut the grass down and after that was done, baby bear and i headed for home. We had to stop at the local "country bumpkin store" for some H2O. After scooping out the store to make sure they took Visa or Mastercard or Discover or AMEX, I left the baby in the car and headed for the freezer section.
I walked in and the first thing i saw was this lady at the counter starring at me with this glarring look. Then I noticed that half a dead cow was sitting on the counter next to her while her assisant was chopping at it with a huge knife bigger than an early 1990's cell phone. I hurry myself to the Pepsi display grab two bottles of water and head for the unbloody counter.
The girl in front of me needed to input her PIN number and instead of pushing 5 buttons she just shouts out her PIN number for the whole store. My GOD are you an IDIOT?
I show my two bottles of water to the lady and hand her my Debit card and politely tell her credit please. She starred at me for a bit... looking oddly at the card... and then swiped it... I thought for a moment i would have to show her how to do it.
The total was not the normal 2.18 it costs for two bottles of water in the city but rather 98 cents! Do they not tax in the country, or i bet they have their own bottles they recycle and fill with old dirty well water to cut back on costs.
After leaving the town country store I booked it... flying down the highway as fast as possible. I hate our new town. It takes 50 mins to get to Best Buy. But thank god, we have a volunteer fire department in town... it would only take the locals 45 mins to get to the station and then another 20 to get to our new house by then we could have built a new fucking house after the old one burned down. And god you cant forget the fact that they have baseball fields glore but no police department.
My doggie turned YELLOW
So i guess i didnt get the Memo on National PMS/ Raggin Week. Yeah hottie from down under spazzed out over a singer and his horrible songs. (KITH scottie) Dad is freaking out over the dishes in the sink and to think i am not home for more than 7 hours a day. Like they are my dishes... whatever... the bosses kept looking at me funny... thought i had soemthing in my nose so i ran to the bathroom several times... nothing...
and the best pms/ ragging story... doesnt come from a woman nor is it even human... its my dog.
I get up early every morning he knows this. But he picks my bathroom out of the other 4 he could chose from he picks mine to sleep in. My dog is smart too... he closes the door... drags a towel to the door and shoves it up against it to block out the light from the hallway "nightlight". So this morning i get up half sleeping and stumble to the bathroom and have to shove the door open...
"damnit kody"
i turn on the light and i hear this GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
so i quickly turn off the light and flip on the nightlight... a non exciting thud of his tail tells me thanks. I stumble to the toliet and try and find it with the sound of water.
I feel something brush up against my leg... so i turn not realizing that i am still peeing and i am pissing all over the dog... its his own damn fault for whipping his tail against my leg and scaring the Piss out of me. Next thing i hear is the sound of him trying to bite my wanker off. I quickly turn on the light and notice my white dog is soaking wet in piss....
so i set him in the shower and we get him all cleaned up...
Lets just say he wont be sleeping in MY bathroom for the next few days.
I was talking to sam about this last night but I thought i would expand apon the subject matter a bit.
My mom forced to hang out with my friends on my only day off working both cutting grass and working at the factory. So i meandered up to the most hated place to eat by me and sat down with this girl i had not seen in years. (its a good thing, promise) She is this ultra conservative ultra republican girl that is miss peppy church. The church is right the church is great. (WHO GIVES A FUCK)
So we are talking and we have our silent moments... good too, cause she has the most annoying voice. ARGH.
Our waiter happend to be gay. I was just way too tired to flirt but he flirted with me.
"did that guy just flirt with you, robbie?" my friend asked.
"yes, and so what?"
"i dont believe in homosexuality, the bible says its wrong."
"well the bible says your parents can sell you into slavery too!" by this time my voice was getting louder and louder. Basically the surrounding tables were listeing to our conversation.
"Its just wrong for two guys or two girls to have sex" she continued.
"You're a homophobic right winged Chrisitan conservative and frankly i could care less if i saw you again."
(of course she and I had been talking about other things that led to this conservation becoming so elevated.) At this point i got up... and left without leaving any money. She was probably pissed and upset and embrassed but who cares. I bet she is still washing dishes because i ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and she barely had enough for herself.
I am getting tired of people telling me that my friends (the BEST ones) and myself are bad people. We are not bad... its closed minded people like her that create hatred in this world.
A dream is just a dream... right?
Recently I have been having some really strange and tramatic dreams, especially involving my study abroad experience coming up.
I know its the most right thing I will/ have done in my life. I know that this will be definitely a life altering experience, and I know it will be an experience in a good way. I am just worried that so much will happen here at home when I am gone that I wont be able to enjoy or be around to comfort others.
I keep having the dream that I am "stuck" downunder in Australia and my father is killed in military action. Fighting to get home. Fighting to get answers.
My thoughts are not without merit... my dad leaves for Iraq starting sometime in late August or early September. I am afraid that I am going to be gone and something is going to happen and I wont be able to just drive home in less than an hour. I am afriad that my mom will become so lonely with my dad gone, myself gone and my brother leaving this upcoming next summer for college life himself.
I guess its a bit of pre prep jitters... I am sure all will go well. About 6 months until departure dates... Time is flying
